Thursday, 8 June 2017

Election Day 2017 -( The General Election, not the local school councillor, although that would probably be more this title too long?)

The polls are about to close on the 2017 clusterfuck General Election (they will certainly be closed by the time that you read this) so now is a good time to make my brief analyse of the campaigns and make my predictions.

First, as I have already stated, this is a clusterfuck of an election. Called by Theresa "strong and stable" May when she thought she had a pretty much record breaking lead in the polls. She thought she could guarantee herself a full five year term, and kill of the revival of left Labour before it began. The Brexit sabotage excuse was just that, and excuse. Labour supported article 50, and the only way they were going to obstruct Brexit is if the negotiations were absurdly bad for the British. What followed was the biggest clusterfuck of a campaign in modern political history. A leader who wouldn't answer any questions and a party that was ill-prepared were the highlights of the Tory campaign. At least as far as the Tories were concerned at least.

For the rest of us the shambolic, ill thought out, badly planned, non-committal clusterfuck of a manifesto was the real cream of the Tory campaign. Never has so little thought and planning been put into the production of a manifesto. Never has a manifesto threatened to scare off the core vote of a party to quite this extent. Never has a manifesto pledge been broken before an election. But the Tories managed to backtrack on three manifesto pledges during the course of their brief campaign.

  1. The first was the "dementia tax" debacle. The Tories decided that the best way to piss off older voters was to threaten to take away everything that they had earned during their lives. But somebody mentioned to the party leadership that pissing off all of your core voters was not a long-term survival strategy, so they gave us about turn the first - they promised to review the policy and introduce a cap on the expenses.
  2. The second was when they decided that a pledge to build more social housing was pure madness. After all, an entire housing bubble needed to grow in order to burst with maximum damage to the economy. If they built social housing now house prices might regulate themselves to a sustainable level. That could never be allowed, so they u-turned and saved the huge housing bubble.
  3. The final came in the days after the terrible terror attack in London. Seeing an opportunity that she thought would never come Theresa May has pledged to get rid of those pesky human rights laws that protect British citizens from a wild executive. The fact that the terror attacks would have been stopped if the authorities had the resources to act on intelligence received is meaningless. The lack of any gain in stopping atrocities irrelevant. Those pesky human rights, that she had pledged to protect only a few weeks before, could now go in the name of pretending to protect British citizens.
Suffice it to say, the Tory campaign was awful.

I have very little satirical to say about the Labour campaign, which I feel has been pretty good. It doesn't seem sporting to join the mockery of Diane Abbott, a woman who may be incompetent but has done very well for herself. The biggest stumbling block for Labour is that Jeremy Corbyn doesn't seem too keen on instigating a global apocalypse by launching a first strike. And to be fair, I am with him. Russia have missiles that would destroy the entire tiny island of the UK in one strike. Launching our outdated pea-shooters would be a total clusterfuck of an idea. Russia is a  landmass that we could use our entire nuclear arsenal at without hitting a single person. David vs Goliath is all well and good, but when Goliath is that big you can't even see the fucker it is probably best to keep your head down and shuffle on.

So now is time for me to make my projections.

The Tories will win.

Probably with an increased majority. To be specific, I expect an increase for the Tories of about 20 seats, to a total of around 350 seats. A ridiculous result when you consider their campaign, but it is inevitable that 2 years of blind support from the mainstream media will have a significant effect on the result. But more on that when I can be arsed to write it.

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